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Illusory Things

by Fatigue

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1.
Outro 01:04
2.
Embrace 04:26
They They Can't Ever Be Sure Cut Myself Open Leave Me Less Than Before We Are Not Ready To Go I Can't Conceive Of Deletion 'Til It's Cold I Am Not Afraid Of Walking On This Wire Feel My Fingers Quake For I Am A Terrible Liar This Place Is A Prism A Cold Unfeeling Prison And The Escaping Light Leaves More Vibrant Than When It Arrived This Comes In Waves And Phases And Stages To Embrace Change Would Not Be So Outrageous
3.
Bleach 04:32
Stay awake Don't be late Never break Know who to hate Keep straight Quit your ache Generate Carry weight Resign your fate I had a dream I had A house to live in This is likely to resolve itself (x8) We need more blood To maintain our standing We need more blood Got to feed The furnace We need more blood For our beautiful engine We need more blood Won't you quit your crying Stay awake Don't be late Never break Know who to hate Keep straight Quit your ache Generate Carry weight Resign your fate I had a dream about Survival This is likely to resolve itself (x8) Wash it down Rinse it out Drink it up Earn your clout Show your colors You're devout Loyalty Purge your doubt Save us all our Barter We like you best a Martyr Burst the seam Your blood stream Take one for the team We need more blood To maintain our standing We need more blood Got to feed The furnace We need more blood For our beautiful engine We need more blood Won't you quit your crying We need more blood To maintain our standing We need more blood Got to feed The furnace We need more blood For our beautiful engine We need more blood Won't you quit your crying We need more blood (x4) We need your blood (x8)
4.
Lovesick 04:30
You call me I answer An obedient Stepford smile Quiet little tip-toe feed Barefood across the kitchen tile I can feel your presence on my back I can feel my heart rate start to climb As you entrench my thoughts Just a little bit deeper than the last time Don't wanna fight Don't wanna cry Don't wanna shrug Don't wanna sigh Don't wanna run Don't wanna lie It'll be okay Just one more night (x2) It lives for my duress This thing I can't describe Still I keep coming back Because it's just my type Nobody else gets in Nobody else No matter how they try Damned be Repercussions of sin I shake I quiver I writhe I'm aching to feel your caress I need you to make me lovesick I want you to stop my breath Against all logic Don't wanna fight Don't wanna cry Don't wanna shrug Don't wanna sigh Don't wanna run Don't wanna lie It'll be okay Just one more night Don't wanna fight Don't wanna cry Don't wanna shrug Don't wanna sigh Don't wanna run Don't wanna lie It's not okay When will you die It lives for my regress Defying its' own hype Still I keep coming back Because it's just my type It lives for my excess In times of fear and strife Still I keep coming back Because it's just my type Weightless I'm absolutely positively Blameless But you can't convince me of that I'm resigned to Decline your piety Anxiety Consume me
5.
Trapt 03:48
Trapped in place Aimless circle Quickly replaced With a cycle eternal For all of your prying For all of your vying For all of your crying You shouldn't have done that For all of your shouting For all of your doubting For all of your spouting You shouldn't have done that Beyond the anthills of your brain Lies your precautions While you're still living all in vain Comfortably noxious Trapped in place It's a constant battle With dignity and grace Pantoming economical For all of your prying For all of your vying For all of your crying You shouldn't have done that For all of your shouting For all of your doubting For all of your spouting You shouldn't have done that Beyond the anthills of your brain Lies your precautions Intensifying my disdain To match my exhaustion Beyond the anthills of your brain Lies your precautions While you're still living all in vain Comfortably noxious Yet as you stammer and slaver Refusing to recognize this precipice Would you kindly do us all a favor And lead the queue
6.
O Structure 05:27
Always Demanding Much To My Dismay Why Can't They Just Be Happy Living In My Shade Ever The Provider All I Do Is Give Should It Not Be Enough They've Permission To Live O structure Won't you help me Won't you take me Into your bosom O structure Won't you save me Won't you take me Into your grace Comfort me Rescue me Speak to me Leave me be Insolence Incarnate My Stormy Weather This Isn't How You Connect The Pieces Together Ever The Provider All I Do Is Give Should It Not Be Enough They've Permission To Live O Structure Won't you help me Won't you take me Into unfeelingness O Structure Won't you save me Won't you take me Into your grace Comfort me Rescue me Speak to me Leave me It's by my affection That you find resolution Merely one direction And final solution O Structure Won't you help me Won't you give me Long suffering patience O Structure Won't you save me Won't you take me Into your arms Comfort me Rescue me Speak to me Leave me
7.
Constantly Spinning Rotating In Line Everything's Perfect Everything Is Fine I'm Dead Inside Just Another Notch On My Wall Use My Peripheral Vision To Watch You Fall So Dead Inside Clamor And Chaos And Furor And Spite Not Your Typical Weekday Night I'm Dead Inside I Need What's Mine I Come First Griping And Doubting Surely You're The Worst So Dead Inside So Dead Inside This is a turning point You're made of silicon And I am igneous And there is nothing wrong This is a turning point You're made of silicon And I am sedimentary You've had it good for far too long Take Everything All That's In Sight You Can't Exist If You Do Not Own The Rights I'm Dead Inside You Are No Longer A Human Being You Are No Longer Sight Unseen So Dead Inside So Dead Inside This is a turning point You're made of silicon And I am igneous And there is nothing wrong This is a turning point You're made of silicon And I am sedimentary You've had it good for far too long And you're not much to me And my idolatry You have my sympathy You've my dishonesty
8.
All my friends seem hyper-familiar All my friends seem terribly vague All my friends are contradictions All my friends are a spreading plague All my friends offer good advice to me Good advice that I never take All my friends aren't afloat of the water Why can't my friends just eat cake Drifting closer to the edge Much closer than before I feel it crawling up my back I can feel it more and more All my friends are one in a billion And another and probably more All my friends were promised a city None of my friends can settle the score All my friends can't make you happy They can only watch you from under the waves All my friends are carrying weights That they'll probably carry long past the grave Drifting closer to the edge Much closer than before I feel it crawling up my back I can feel it more and more Drifting closer to the edge Kicked in the ribs straight out the door We'll not accept your blame again Neither now nor ever more
9.
Take a look around At your legacy Have you come to Reap what you've sewn What was a shining hill Is now a tomb Small enough to drown In the bathtub This will do you good Quit your crying You can't know struggle Like I do It's not one of us It'll never be Best to salt the Earth Before it regrows They took it all (x6) And left us dead before The ship arrived Look at what you've done Your empire Of poisoned dirt And redundant hurt Was there any doubt Our apparatus Is working exactly As intended This will do you good Quit your crying You can't know struggle Like I do Your struggle is Invalid While you're left to Pick up the pieces They took it all (x6) And left us dead before The ship arrived
10.
Lines of color-coded toys Thoughts of military brass Good ol' christian boys make noise Every single time you pass Chrysalis of woven silk Purest spirolactone moods Don't take kindly to your ilk And other platitudes Steal my body and bring it home Bring it home Bring it home (x3) Steal my body and bring it home To me Enemy, o innocence Lead me to the water's edge Does your mother know your game Walking such a tenuous line Always someone else to blame It will never be the time Who could ever ask for less We just barely let you breathe Sure can make a girl feel blessed Close enough to hear them seethe Steal my body and bring it home Bring it home Bring it home (x3) Steal my body and bring it home To me Enemy, o innocence Lead me to the water's edge Enemy, o recompense Lead me off the precipice There are doors I have yet to open And windows I've yet to look through Going forward may not be the answer But to go back would be all the worse Steal my body and bring it home Bring it home Bring it home (x4)
11.
No Funeral 04:35
No funeral No funeral For me Don't you let me down The way I let you down No six feet underground Leave me where I'm found Let me keep my burden All for me No funeral No funeral For me Don't suffer my days I'd just get in the way This luxury adored More than I can afford Let me keep my burden All for me No funeral No funeral For me

about

Songs of mortality, identity, unrest, societal collapse, and bitterly dancing on the ruins out of spite.

The majority of tracks were written while recovering from thyroid surgery, while others would later be written while under quarantine during the COVID-19 outbreak of 2020.

credits

released August 7, 2020

All songs and lyrics written by Lillian Edith Martin, except where noted.

Track #3 co-written by Phil Fleming

Track #8 contains a sample from "Revenge" by Ministry (Written by Alain Jourgensen)

Mastered by Colin C at The Cell Studios - thecellstudio.com

Drum Solo in Track #5 by Jim Schultz

Additional Production in Track #8 by Steven Archer

Violin Solo in Track #11 by Eric Oehler

RIP Spice

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Fatigue Lowell, Massachusetts

Dark, depressed synth-pop from a desolate mill city.

Info & booking at fatiguemusicma@gmail.com

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